Dear Baby,

Yesterday was mother's day and it had me thinking of how much I would like to be able to feel connected to you, even before you are born. Jack, your dad, was very thoughtful and got me a mother's day present. Although, we were in a car for 80% of the day, it was nice to know that by this time next year, I will be a mom.

It's been a very busy and eventful past few weeks. Dad and I just got back from Arizona, where we celebrated your uncle Andy's wedding. It was a 10 hour drive and I was happy that you were nice to me and i didn't throw up the entire time we were driving there and while we were there.
Although it was a short stay, we arrived late Friday night and returned Sunday morning, it was packed with things to do. We went to the temple sealing which was so nice, picked grapefruits from the trees on the temple grounds- it was my first time ever seeing grapefruit and orange trees, went to the luncheon- I ate early which caused me to be slightly embarrassed but I think if I hadn't eaten I would've passed out! And then we went to the reception. I also went swimming and much to my dismay, realized I barely fit into a large sized bathing suit! It's hard to imagine because people still can't believe that I'm 4 months pregnant, or pregnant at all. They say I don't look like I'm pregnant, and yet my jeans are getting tighter and my bathing suit sizes are going up.

It was nice to have the time in Arizona to be with friends and family and celebrate, since the week before was not nearly as happy. My Grandpa John passed away, and so I got a plane ticket to Chicago and went for the funeral there. While the occasion was sad, and we all had our share of tears, it was very nice to see your Great Grandma Karen, my parents, and my sister Elizabeth whom I feel like I have not seen for a very long time.

I think it's interesting however, that such a sad moment was followed by such a happy one. And how much it truly goes to show the cycle of life. Someone has passed, someone will be born (you), gatherings have been arranged to remember, comfort, and cry, and other moments have been arranged to celebrate, look forward to the future, and rejoice.

I guess it really goes to show just how short life really is. Before I know it, you will be here, and before I know it, you will be leaving for college, to go on a mission maybe, and then to get married.

I hope I do a good job teaching you about the people in my life you never got to meet. My grandpa's love of books and storytelling, my abuelita's ability to make any person feel loved despite language barriers, my abuela's laughter and caring watchfulness over the family. All these people, you will never have the opportunity to grow up with, but maybe you are with them now. And I can only hope and have faith that you will have other remarkable people and examples, such as my mom and dad, in your life as you grow to look up to.

Love always,

Mommy

The Magical Banana Cheers All!

hehehe...

Anyway, in other news! Morning sickness has been getting better, obviously some days are better than others but I think there are a lot more good days now than bad days.

I got a new job that I absolutely love! The woman I work for is super nice and I really just love it.

Jack and I are really needing to save money lately, because apparently we have a lot less money than I thought we did (my bad). I'm sure it will all work out, we just have to be aware of things. It's one of the downfalls of only using his bank account now, I"m used to being able to log into my bank or text message and find out how much I have but now I can't do that. I need to set up my online banking for our joint account, I just haven't gotten around to it.

I've been craving really healthy foods lately, so I went to the grocery store and bought some fruit and stuff. I really really want a taco salad from this mexican place, Mi Ranchitos, Jack's parents took us to once. I don't htink I've ever had anything more delicious from a restaurant! All the flavors of the fresh roasted vegetables meshed together so well and it was seriously amazing.
BUT that place is expensive so oh well.

Moving on, I made some major improvements to the forum today. If you look on the side bar of my blog <------- you'll see I even made little promo banners. PLEASE go check it out: Baby's Mama Forum I really think it can be a great, fun, and resourceful site but we need to get our numbers up so people know the forum is active!

If you have any advice for me that's always appreciated as well!! I'm really stoked about the graphic. The original picture seen here was done by a user on Deviantart. I messaged them to get permission to use it on the site, and despite the language barrier (they speak Japanese I think) he/she (not really sure) said yes!! I am soo happy and excited and thrilled! It definitely beats the banner I had before which was beyond boring.

Last week Jack played in his first softball game of the year- they actually won!! I was so proud of him! He had some amazing moments, and he hit the winning pitch that sent our guys home. Go Jack!! <3

Speaking of Jack... he's home now and I have to work early tomorrow morning so I think I'll be ending this post here so we can watch the movie I rented (Seven Pounds) before I go to sleep.

Tah~tah!

Busy busy

Hmm... I guess a lot has happened but it seems like once I sit down to write about it I draw a blank.

Last Wednesday somebody drove into our fence (again). Jack and I were watching TV downstairs and all of a sudden there was a boom and the house shook. I thought it was just a truck backing up or something, it happened all the time back home but Jack insisted on going upstairs to look at what it was and lo and behold, there was a car in our front yard.


I also started my new job on Friday. I am so excited for it. The kids are very cute and I really like the family, Carly is a really nice lady. I just hope I don't do anything wrong...

Jack and I are really busy next week, I managed to score myself an early ultrasound :D The insurance company covers an NT scan so that's tomorrow morning. I'm very very excited. If we're really lucky we'll know if it's a boy or a girl in as soon as 20 hours! When I found out we were going to be able to actually have the ultrasound done I was so excited I could barely hold still. Now I'm just worried that they will actually find something... the NT scan is done to look for down syndrome and congenital defects etc,. so I am a little nervous but hopeful and trying to just trust that everything will work out.

Also this week we have Amanda's bridal shower, Skyler's 1st birthday party- Kaley's kid, and then we have Amanda's wedding coming up too. Then the week after that we're going to Arizona for Jack's younger brothers wedding (Andy). It's going to be a really busy time for us but I really really love being busy hehe. I just feel important in some way, or like life is worthwhile. I'd much rather be out and about doing things and having a job and making money and stuff rather than just sitting around the house online all day. :/

Baby Update: I've gained about 7 pounds so far. I had gained 7 pounds earlier but then I lost it again but now I gained it back again. I'm not really showing anymore than I was before, but I'll try to get a picture posted later this week. I'll probably do it on Wednesday because then I'll be in my 14th week which means I'll be in my 2nd Trimester!!! YAYAYAY!!! *throws confetti*
I might have a 2nd tri party for myself haha, just because I'm a nerd like that. But we're so busy that I probably will end up not doing it.

Anyway, this week baby is the size of a peach:

The fetus is starting to get teeth and vocal chords and it's head is starting to shrink down to be more in proportion with the rest of the body. This is all very exciting.

The other day Carly told me that when she was pregnant, if she dropped something the baby would get scared and she could feel it "jump" in surprise inside of her. That's going to be a really weird feeling. There are so many new things to look forward to and worry about, I can't wait. :)

He says, she says

Jack: "okay I'm almost home so can I just honk when I get there?"

Me: "umm... no... just call me."

Jack: "why? I want to honk. I never got to honk before."

Me: *laughs* "okay, fine."

Jack is a cutie.

3 Months!

So Jack and I went to my 3 month appointment on Friday. We got to hear the heartbeat!! It was sooo awesome! The heart rate was measuring at about 170, according to an old wives' tale a fast heartbeat like that suggests it's a girl hehe. :)

But we'll see. I'm not counting on anything yet... I am a little sad that they didn't do an ultrasound I really thought they would but the doctor said insurance only covers one. I'm going to call my insurance and see if an NT scan is covered because if it is we could do that which is basically an ultrasound ^_^

I've been having good and bad days, moments, and hours. I just keep telling myself, I'm either going to die or I'm going to get through it and be okay, and so far I'm alive so I guess I'm okay. It's nice to know the baby is okay, it makes it so much easier to go through all this stuff knowing there is actually something important inside of me.

Easter was nice, after conference Jack and I went to Kaley and Clint's. The food was awesome and of course the company was good too. I love hanging out with them, they're just super chill and I feel like Kaley and I have a lot in common in terms of stuff we went through in our lives and it's nice having someone who has overcome difficulties like that as well.

Sometimes I just have to turn around and look at how far I've come and it's amazing. It blows my mind that it's possible for me to be with someone as wonderful as Jack after all the things I've done and be able to have all the wonderful things that I do. Of course we struggle and have hard times, but we still have it pretty good and Jack cares about me, and I can see it in all the little things that he does. I wish I knew how to put my heart into things like that... it's something my grandma used to do also.

I was thinking about her a lot yesterday. I really miss her a lot, but I know she loves me and yesterday I felt that she was still close to us and it was a really comforting thing. It just hurts that I was never able to express just how I felt about her. Even with the language barrier, it didn't matter, I always ALWAYS knew and felt that she loved me and cared about me, and I hope she always felt the same from me. She truly was an amazing woman. She loved everyone so effortlessly and so generously, if I can be like her in even the smallest way I know I'll be able to be a good mom.



I was also thinking about my mom. There I was, sitting in church, tears rolling down my face because I missed my Abuelita, and I just had to think, when does my mom cry? I know she must miss her even more than I do, but when is she able to express it? She has to take care of my grandpa and I could imagine it's hard for her... I don't know... Maybe she's stronger than me and knows she'll be able to see her again. I know she's not gone forever but I still miss her here.

Anyways, that's about all I have to say for now. Jack and I are going to take my car in to get fixed and hopefully get a new cell phone charger for my phone today.

12 weeks!!

So today I am officially 3 months pregnant!

*throws confetti* (for real this time)

Baby Update: Today baby is the size of a plum. Which in my opinion is not much different in size than a lime but I didn't write the website that is giving me this nonsense so oh well.
It says that at this time the average fetus is 2.1 inches long and about .5 ounces.

This also means, that it's genital organs and such have been almost fully developed. Which means... that if we're really really lucky, we might be able to find out if it's a boy or girl on Friday when they do the ultrasound!!

I don't think I've ever been more excited! I was really disappointed when they didn't do the 8 week u/s but now that I think about it, I kinda got lucky because it means I now have this chance of finding out early.

I'm pretty sure once I know the sex I will feel a lot more connected. I keep planning the things I want to do in the house for the baby's room but still haven't really gotten very excited about baby stuff. But once I find out, I can plan cute little outfits and clothes!

I have this tiny skateboard it's a trick skateboard, about maybe 6" long that I got at a thrift store. I'm totally gonna teach my kids how to ride it. They're gonna be so awesome hehe.

I still need to make breakfast. I think Jack was a little annoyed that I posted my pictures on here although I'm not sure exactly why to be honest. So maybe I will post a smaller picture next time and have him take it so he approves :P

Ummmmmmm ummmm ummm can't think of anything else to write. Adios!

3... more .... days

I know I can make it, i just have to hang in there. I don't think I have ever been so anxious for a doctor's appointment in my entire life.

Not much has changed on the puking side of things, I'm just trying to be more optimistic about things and hopefully I'll start feeling better soon.

People say time goes by really quickly but right now I feel like everything thus far has been slow motion!

Probably because nothing really has been going on, everyday is pretty much the same as the day before. I went to the library earlier to check out a book my sister recommended but unfortunately it's already been taken out and there are 3 people on the wait list for it.

My back pain has pretty much gone away, it just comes back occasionally so that's good. I didn't call the doctor because it seems to be getting better.

My cell phone charger isn't working so I'm without a cell phone which is REALLY annoying. :( I feel so disconnected from the world. I might have to buy a new charger or something if I still can't figure it out.

I guess that's my update for today...