Things...

Sometimes I worry about being a bad mom and not having well-adjusted kids or being too clingy and not being able to let them actually live their lives. I think it's good that Jack hardly ever worries about anything because I tend to worry about everything. I hope we can balance each other out and having some of my own experiences with feeling a little overwhelmed by parental presence will help me be more open to things.

There are other things that give me hope when it comes to my ability to parent. For example, today I saw a lady in the grocery store pushing two kids in a stroller thing. One of the boys was crying because he wanted to go home, and she said and I quote, "Shut up you brat!" And just kept saying mean terrible things to this 5 year old kid. I was horrified. At least I know (hope) I will never be that bad. Granted, it's never easy to deal with a crying kid in public, and I could be wrong here but for some reason verbal insults don't seem like the best resolution to such a situation.

In other news I'm just about 5 months pregnant!! I bought some maternity shirts the other day. Somedays I show more than others and for some reason I show more on my left side than my right- maybe that's where the baby likes to hang out?

I haven't felt any kicks yet which is a little sad. There have been some moments where I think I feel something but it only happens once so I can never be sure. I'm a little worried cuz lately I haven't really even felt that and I got rear ended the other day so I'm super nervous. But I'm pretty sure if something was wrong I would be spotting or something... I dunno.

I'm thinking of having a baby shower in New York as well because there are so many wonderful people out there that I'd love to share this time of my life with!! I felt bad enough we couldn't have a wedding reception out there so I'm hoping I can at least do this, we'll see what happens.

My parents get here on Friday and I'm soo excited!! Jack has been so great with doing stuff around the house and I'm so exctited for when my parents get here and we can start setting up the baby's room! :D


yay!